I’m starting to feel nervous. I already miss my kids extra much. I worry that I’ll feel disconnected from my husband and my kids.

Then I worry that I’ll give up or at least I will want to. I cannot believe that I will get through this pilgrimage without major catastrophic failure.

I tell myself that it will be ok and that I am prepared. I have everything I need, and I’ve been preparing for this for months—my body should be ready.

I’m stressed! Breathe deeply. I need to let concerns go. Worrying has never helped me. I’m going to do this, and I will get through it. I can do this and I am going to write down all the feelings along the way.

I have an anxious mind. It isn’t pretty sometimes. Yes, I’m very excited about this journey, but I’m at times (like 3 nights ago when I wrote the above paragraphs) I am overwhelmed with feelings and catastrophic thoughts.

This journey is bound to be raw, and I keep worrying about sharing that with others. I think, “Who wants to be plagued with my crazy thoughts?” Or “Is it safe to share this vulnerable part of myself with others?”

But…I think I am going to trust you with this part of me, as naive as that may be. Hopefully, anyone who is bothered by my “crazy” just won’t read it!

El Camino is giving me big nerves and feelings right now as I start in less than two weeks. There may be some hard perspectives brought to light, with my fear of the unknown welling up. Don’t let it alarm you.

I want to document it all. Maybe my kids will someday read it and be encouraged that they can and will get through big things in spite of big worry feelings.

Until my big journey begins on September 19th, I’m enjoying a trip with my husband and his parents in Europe! Below are a few of our highlights so far! Stay curious!

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