This year was my favorite Christmas so far! I had all my kids home for several days. Everyone had a good time, and no family feuds occurred, that I know of anyway :). Even my husband and I communicated well and functioned on the “same team”, which doesn’t always happen. Also, our family is different than I imagined when I was a younger parent.

I am a mom that is “dang crazy” about her kids! I think that they know this, and of course I know that they are not perfect; but I truly think they all are AMAZING people! (Their partners are excellent too ❤️). If I told them how often I consider how cool they are, they would definitely say I was being “weird.” Suffice it to say, I am SO proud of each of them!!! But my awesome family looks different than I imagined it would look.

I remember being a young mom a lot of years ago. We invited a pastor and his family over for lunch after Sunday church. This man so clearly De-LIGHTED in his kids! It was inspiring and deeply blessed me. He would say, “_______, show Joy and Chris how you _______,” or “__________, tell Joy and Chris about when you __________!” I decided then that I wanted to be THAT kind of parent. He delighted in his kids like I hoped God delighted in me. I wanted my kids to feel that from me.

My family is not perfect. But we all love each other. I expect we do not all agree on all things. But my hope is that we all feel like we are in each other’s “corner.” The world is a difficult place. Home and family should be safe.

What have you imagined life would be like? Could you have fulfilled those dreams? Why didn’t you? Was it because you couldn’t or did you choose not to? Maybe it required some grieving, or you still need to find space for that? Or maybe your heart has grown 2 sizes like the Grinch :). Maybe your family is not what you imagined, but maybe it feels nice, with more room for love and curiosity.

I do not believe our imaginings for ourselves and others are likely to EVER turn out like we imagine. WHY? Because we are changing and so are they. And we are us and they are them. We may try to make them us? But they will always be them. We can clinch more tightly for control, or we can start asking questions about why we are grasping so desperately. We could lean in and learn more about who they are.

It takes me awhile sometimes to relax my clinched fists and find respectful curiosity; but when I do, I find capacity for things like understanding and empathy, peace and love, surrender and acceptance of myself and others. These remind me of a familiar list: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faith, and self-control. I am grateful for it. Here’s to even less fist clinching in 2023.

Respectfully curious with you,

Joy

The last few days and really every day of El Camino can be described as simple but hard. We have to get ourselves from the starting point to the destination, and we have to find our place of rest and food. It’s pretty basic.

However, yesterday our reservation got overlooked, so we arrived in a very small town with no place to stay. After calling everywhere else, our only option was the church location run by volunteers. Thankfully they had space for us. We’d had a significant climb, so we didn’t feel up to walking to a further village.

Instead of a private room like we’d reserved (see, we do enjoy a private bathroom now and then 😊), we ended up in another room full of bunks with about ten other pilgrims. It worked out fine, and we were so thankful to have a place.

Today we set out early. We had been told that it would be the most difficult day we had ahead of us. There were miles of steep downhill, rocky trails, that were hard on the feet and knees. We managed to survive the long day. We were joined by friends for part of it, which is always a good distraction.

It was hard, but it was simple. There were not many decisions to think through, except the knowledge that one foot in front of the other is the only way to get to our nice bed. It wasn’t complicated, however each step getting there was felt in a tangible, even painful way.

Sometimes, in my normal life, I get so stressed about which path is the right one. This Camino journey has been really stress free in a strange, but refreshing way. It has reminded me that most of my life is really about the discipline of putting one foot in front of the other. Those steps might be hard and painful, but I think I often have more clarity than I want to admit. It’s just a matter of pushing through the hard, obvious work ahead with confidence.

It’s hard, but simple. And dang it if there aren’t a thousand beautiful things to behold along the way, if I don’t forget to keep my eyes open!

Until next time, Buen Camino!

At the risk of sharing Camino secrets, I have to say that today and yesterday have held some very special moments. Both days we have stayed in the common sleeping spaces verses staying in a private room. Both days we have had dinner, provided by our albergue host, around a single table with our fellow peregrinos.

There are lots of opportunities for “magic” on the Camino, if we are open and willing to receive it. It also comes with some small costs, just like real life.

What is this magic? It’s a table full of pilgrims all making this journey for a variety of reasons, from 5 different countries, laughing together! It’s an albergue host, telling us about the stone she left at the cross during her own Camino, after crying daily for her father who had passed. She said a weight was lifted that day, and she was happy the rest of her journey. She lived in Brazil at the time, but moved here to open an albergue to serve other peregrinos. “Just for today” is the English translation for the name of the albergue, and it’s an appropriate mantra for El Camino, as well as our time in her home.

The meal she made for us was so special and delicious, maybe my favorite of all we’ve had. As we ate we discussed the fact that we are in our last 10 days. One lady at our table was a lady we roomed with the very first evening. We talked about those first few days, and how it might feel when we get to the end. She said sadly, “I may never see you all again.”

People bring the magic. Our individual journeys, shared experiences, and beautiful moments together. It cost us a little alone time and some euros. But it was so beautiful and powerful. We had a similar experience last night.

You don’t know what you’ll get in these moments around a pilgrim table, but I’ve been glad to have taken the risk. I hope to take this practice of being more “open” home with me.

Buen Camino!

El Camino is a task that doesn’t diminish without effort. Our guys left, so distraction is less. There is nothing for us to do but finish this thing.

The last week or so we have been in “the Meseta”. It is the plains of Spain, thankfully without the rain this time 😊. It is pretty in a simple way, but not as breathtaking as previous sections. We also have had our fair share of heat and flies in this portion.

Can you believe we have only 290 ish of 800 kilometers to go? Our bodies have held up, for the most part. They ache in places, but we realize now that that’s part of the journey.

Some days feel long, but overall, the time has passed quickly. It feels like we still have a good chunk left, but I feel more confident that we will finish. It’s nice to have that fear of not finishing start to lessen.

I’m lying on a bunk bed, after showering and washing some clothes, smelling something aMAZing that is going to be dinner! My dear friend is with me, we have 10 days left, and feelings are bittersweet! I know there are still wonderful things yet to come on this last third of our journey, even if it’s more of the same.

Because the same is actually pretty awesome: people together on a journey of healing and self discovery, bodies and minds growing stronger in spite of the pain, learning the “grind” is full of beauty, discipline, and renewal. I’m beyond grateful.

Until next time! Buen Camino!

I thought it would be fun to share some things that you might not know about this journey. At least these are some things that have been interesting to me!

We walk and talk with all kinds of people, and sometimes we walk alone. The Camino has proven to draw a very diverse crowd. You might think it would draw a particular type of person, but reflective of reality, ALL types of people choose to do this pilgrimage for ALL types of reasons. We have come across old and young, a variety of religions, non-religious folks, gay and straight people, professionals and unemployed, tour groups and loners, as well as a representation of many different countries. Reasons to walk El Camino span everything from finding peace after a loss, to accomplishing something challenging during retirement, to acquiring atonement for sins, finding oneself, and more. Fitness levels are not a thing to be judged. In fact, so far I have counted 18 men with white hair who “sail” past me on the Camino (it’s a game I’m playing). I guess that probably says more about my fitness level 😂 than theirs. Bob in the below pic is 81 and retired military. He also moved past us after visiting for awhile.

Mealtimes aren’t normal for me. Lunch is 2-3ish and dinner isn’t until 7:30 or 8pm. Also, don’t think about shopping for toothpaste or anything else when you arrive to town mid afternoon, because everything is closed due to siesta. Remember learning about that in Geography? It’s a thing, and it’s been inconvenient on a regular basis 😂.

Sleeping in a big room with all your pilgrim friends, all genders, is very normal. Yes, you’ll be serenaded by snores, tossing and turning, coughs, etc.; but you’ll be so tired that you will get some sleep.

Sometimes there are all gender bathrooms, and it’s not even a “thing.”They aren’t called “all gender.” The Albergue we’re I’m currently staying is not the first where I have been “doing my business” in a stall or taking a shower in a stall next to a person of a different gender. It’s very normal, and it would be weird for it to make me uncomfortable. So it doesn’t 😊. Occasionally a door doesn’t even get shut 😂.

The pharmacists here seem more like nurse practitioners. I expect our pharmacists in the U.S. are as capable, but the pharmacies here are purely focused on meeting medical needs. You can be sure that if you’re suffering from an ailment and you have an interpreter (or Google translate), you will leave with items meant to fix you! (On a side note, my blisters are healing well, thanks to their “miracle ointment.”) However, don’t expect to find a snack to hold you over until 8pm dinner, because you’ll be disappointed. It’s not CVS!

This pilgrimage has been a practice for many “Peregrinos” for over a thousand years. Many of the towns we walk through are very small and likely would have no livelihood without El Camino de Santiago. The Spanish people are very kind and gracious to us now, as they have been for centuries. For example, this bridge was commissioned by a queen 1100 years ago for the pilgrims to have an easy path in and out of the city.

Another type of encouragement that we get from the locals is the occasional “beep beep beep” of a horn as they drive by! It is a treat on a hard day, knowing they are cheering us on. Also, there is the occasional food truck with bananas, boiled eggs, and even fresh orange juice! It is so awesome to round a bend and encounter one of these food trucks!

Meals are cheap here, especially when purchasing the “menu of the day!” Tonight I paid 12 euro, which equals close to $12. I got a bowl of pumpkin soup, delicious bread, chicken, salad, vanilla pudding, and wine! It will be tough returning to the U.S. prices for restaurant food!

I hope these curiosities have been of interest. They don’t include all the new things I’ve encountered but are several things that I have thought unique to this experience.

Our big news for today is we passed the halfway mark today!! We have traversed over 250 miles of the Camino!! There was something that felt really great about being over halfway done. And Chris comes tomorrow to experience a few days with me! Lance joined us yesterday, and will be here for a week. It’s great to break up the trip with some favorite visitors!

Until next time, Buen Camino!

Today has been interesting. I had a restless night of sleep. We walked over 20 miles yesterday, with achey feet, chafing blisters, and no shade. I know our pictures are full of beauty and fun, but we plodded into town after 5pm, very tired and hurting.

I pulled off my shoe, and my least offensive blister had doubled in size to a little over a quarter-sized “growth” on the side of my heel. Gross! We struggled to have the energy to shower, but managed to get it done. Sweaty clothes had to wait to get washed, however. We just didn’t have it in us.

By the time we had taken a short rest, it was time to head down to dinner. We had a sweet time with one of our old pilgrim friends from the second day. She was so sweet and it is fun to come across others on the way that we haven’t seen in awhile. She was a bright spot in my “cloudy” space. After dinner we went straight to bed. Our alarm was set for 5:30am, because we had a similar day, minus 3km, planned for today.

When the alarm woke us up, I had to share with Theressa that I thought we needed a rest.

I immediately felt shame, and wanted to change my mind.

Why?

Why do I feel badly for speaking up when I know what I need? I had to coach myself through the emotions that threatened to spew all around. Thankfully, we survived myself.

I feel like it was perhaps as hard to say I needed a break as it would have been to walk the 19 miles.

But this is the journey of El Camino. It is a journey of grace and trust, patience and learning, strength and humility, and more. It surpasses the simplicity of grit gained after a hard race. Life is more, if I can remain open to receive it.

Buen Camino

Some days are rainy. They sometimes inspire fear and loneliness in people like me. My husband and daughter love the rain! But it is different when there are miles to walk under the weeping skies.

Yesterday and today were just such days. My legs and feet feel pretty good, but I was afraid that would not stay the case if I had to walk for 2 days in wet shoes.

However, on El Camino there aren’t really short cuts. I mean, you can skip the walking with a taxi to the next town, but that’s not really a necessity for me at this point. Rain does make me aware that there could be long days of hard ahead. Fear wells up, and catastrophic thinking sets in.

I spent the first few hours crying with the skies. It seemed appropriate to “let some feels out” while nobody watched. I noticed my fears and sadness, and considered what would be helpful. For me, music is an easy reset. So, instead of listening to my audible book I turned up the tunes.

Shortly after, we stopped for breakfast. We saw some other pilgrims we knew, and had some laughs about the rainy weather. Somehow, things didn’t feel too bad anymore. By the time we arrived at our destination, I was downright cheery!

This journey is so good for me. Taking life so slowly helps me to be mindful of all that is happening. It is really difficult to to do this in normal life, with so many distractions and duties to adequately perform. Life is good! Buen Camino!