From Pamplona to Puerta La Reina to Estella to Torres Del Rio to Lagonia- phew! My feet are feeling it now! We crossed the 100 mile mark today, and that is exciting! We celebrated with ice cream!
We also hit rain today for the first time so far. I had cinched up my poncho hood and had a small amount of visibility. I stuck to watching my feet, ensuring that they moved to stable terrain safely. It reminded me of times when all I can see is a portion of the big picture, but moving forward one step at a time is the only way to move through a stormy season. There are so many similar lessons learned on El Camino.
We arrive at our destination weary and feeling like we can’t go another step, but the next morning, we get up and do it again.
We encounter a hill that seems hard, but we remind ourselves that it’s nothing we haven’t done already. And we power through.
The Camino is like an embodiment of every reality that life teaches us. We meet beautiful people, and we see beautiful sights. We feel grateful. We make judgments, and then are surprised when we learn we didn’t fully understand. We’re grateful for the lesson. We accomplish more than we believed possible. We’re grateful. We experience provision, and we’re grateful. We experience pain and hurt. We heal and are grateful. We are never in it alone, and we’re grateful.
I’m rambling. I’m tired, but grateful. That’s the bottom line. We’re experiencing things that embody the best parts and the hardest parts. So thankful for your thoughts and words and prayers. Thankful for people who care about how we’re doing. And thankful that we’re doing ok. No, better than ok. ❤️
We made our way from Zubiri to Pamplona on day 4. It didn’t feel too bad! I hadn’t slept well the night before, and had gone to the restroom to get some good stretches in. We have been sleeping in hostels on bunk beds, so it’s easy to be wakened in the night with bathroom visits or just being restless. That’s part of the experience though, so it’s all good! I was lying in bed imagining the worst while my body hurt, so getting up and going somewhere to really stretch helped physically and mentally!
Leaving Zubiri, headed to Pamplona!
We had an amazing treat on our way to Pamplona! We were heads down trekking, when we heard live music! We look up, and see a cafe with a small band playing at 10:30am! We had already planned to stop for breakfast, and we were excited to see that some of our fellow pilgrims were said band! People were grooving and clapping! It was such a treat!!
Our Pilgrim Musicians “Der Schultz”
We arrived in Pamplona at the end of our 15 miles. I had mistakenly booked an albergue in a different city, but we needed a place in Pamplona. Theressa is so handy with her Spanish, but after calling every hostel, we were left with no options except a hotel. We ended up booking 2 nights there, so we could have a chance to see some sights while in the biggest city on our journey.
Our free day in Pamplona, we did laundry first, which was awesome! We usually hand wash our clothes on a daily basis, and they never seem very fresh. It felt great to have them all clean and smelling good! We then visited The Citidel https://www.pamplona.es/turismo/murallas and The Cathedral, which was incredible! Lastly, we had dinner and had a second night of amazing sleep!
Today we left Pamplona around 7:15, feeling ready for another 15-16 mile day! Our next stop was Puerta La Reina. The skies looked ominous all day, but we were grateful for the cloud cover! There was a fairly significant incline and decline again today, but we’re getting used to those! The views were incredible once again, and I continue to be impressed that I’m not bored! Today was the first day that we spent time listening to music! It was fun to have something to pick up our spirits at the end of the day.
We arrived at our albergue around 3, showered, washed clothes, and chilled out! After a few hours of resting and connecting with home, we went out to see what we could see. The streets were alive with festivities, yet we just settled for dinner with new friends! Tomorrow we will walk around 14 miles. Life is good! Buen Camino!
Well, here it is the end of day 3, and we’ve journeyed around 35 miles of the El Camino de Frances! Can you believe it? If it were not for my sore legs, I wouldn’t! We have been preparing for this for so long, and our journey is finally happening! And it is amazing so far!
The walk itself is beautiful! We began by working our way over the Pyrenees mountains. The views were amazing and vast. I felt like a small, but not insignificant, piece of a beautiful work of art. Today we were still in the foothills, moving up and down hills with 15-20 lbs of backpack! The road changes often and offers sprawling views, unique walkways, farms, charming homes, and more. The terrain included some steep parts with rocky portions to navigate. Yet we are only 2 of hundreds of “pilgrims” who also are taking this journey! Not all are going the whole way, but many are. I’d estimate that 20-30 percent are much older than we are, and it’s amazing and inspiring!
The beauty and interesting nuance of the trail is mirrored by the diversity of the travelers. There’s the couple who are always visiting with anyone who will share a table with them. There are the three friends who met on WhatsApp and decided to travel the El Camino for a week. There is a man who has done portions of El Camino 12 times, and his wife is joining him. They hope to finish it this time. A family of 4 is walking together; 2 are here a week, but “mom and daughter” plan finish it! There’s our one bunk mate who has a pack way too heavy, but her evident joy and generosity is more abundant than the weight of the items in her pack—we were happy to see another pilgrim carrying her pack for her today. There’s the Minnesota ladies— 3 who came together, and 2 who came alone. We shared a room with the group of 3 one night, and we have enjoyed their company for a significant portion of our time here. And SO many more travelers with stories!!!
I cannot overstate the beautiful, communal experience that we are already having after just 3 days. l believe the community piece will be a major part of “my Camino.” It is so powerful— especially after such a difficult, divisive season that our world continues to be injured from—to be with people from all over the world, listening to them cheer on one another with a clink of a wine glass and/or the “carry on” message of ”Buen Camino!”
We arrived in St. Jean Pied de Port around noon. We had a delicious crepe lunch and looked around the lovely town. The small village had its origins all the way back to the 12th century. It is old and very charming with many hostels and other accommodations for “pilgrims” beginning El Camino.
After lunch we walked a small piece to the ” pilgrims office” to get our credentials. Basically, that’s a card that declares that we are going on this journey as a pilgrimage, and we we acquire stamps along the way to affirm our continued dedication. Many of the hostels will require us to oshow these when we check in. While waiting outside, I found it interesting that we were among the younger of pilgrims represented. Also, most everyone was speaking other languages than we were, of course!
We got our credentials and after a bit more exploring checked into our hostel. We are 2 of 7 in our room. The other 5 are men. It feels a little bit strange, but also feels like a normal part of a pilgrimage like this.
We chose a Basque restaurant for dinner. Basque is the name of the indigenous community who have their origins in St. Jean Pied de Port. I ordered a trout dish and was served a whole fish! I actually enjoyed it very much.
The best part of our dinner was being joined by a young lady who is also doing El Camino. She was from Scotland, and quite a bit younger than we, but we had such a nice time connecting over the things we have in common. I think this will be one of my favorite parts of El Camino— connecting with so many people, from so many different cultures, over a common journey.
After dinner we went back to the hostel, or auberge as it’s called here, and went to sleep. We managed fine, even though we were sharing a room with several men. We all kept to ourselves, which worked just fine. 😊
I’ve had a lot of fear in my life. It seems like fear is one of those things worth being curious about. I believe each person’s fear is unique to them and says something about who they are. Learning about a person’s fears can help us understand them better, and connect with them more deeply.
What are your fears? What can you learn about yourself from your fears? How can you learn to talk to the child inside you when those fears feel especially big?
One of my biggest fears is around losing relationships. I don’t want to ever do anything to jeopardize any of my relationships. This has created a boundary problem in my life, and is an area where I am always pursuing growth. I am slowly learning what that fear looks like when it feels big, so I can minimize “reaction damage”.
A fear that has popped up when preparing to do this pilgrimage is that I will lose my husband. So catastrophic, right?!
My parents hardly spent a night apart. It was important to them to physically be together. It was special for them, and that was my “normal”.
Additionally, teachings that I heard from a variety of people growing up was that there were many things in the world that were working against marriage and family. This incited fear in me, and a desire to avoid the marriage and family “destructors” they described. I felt responsible to try to be the perfect everything to keep our marriage and family thriving.
My husband has been traveling for his job, in growing amounts, throughout our marriage. This has sometimes triggered these fears in me. My fears sometimes lead me to big feelings which sometimes lead to big reactions. These reactions have been an occasional part of our relationship through the years, I’m sorry to admit.
Why am I so afraid of losing him? Has he given me reason to think he won’t be true? Nope. I believe it’s something I’ve allowed myself to believe through the years, and I’m working to eliminate it. Fear and the control response is not a good way to live. It certainly does damage to relationships!
Hopefully my husband will manage without me, as I have managed without him on many occasions. If we can’t survive this, it’s not because I went on this trip. We will survive it though, because I’m optimistic that we have a relationship that is built on years of teamwork and trust.
It’s cool if you have a life that gives you lots of physical time with your spouse or partner, and it may be a priority which is great. But if something changes, don’t let fear take over. You will be ok.
I wonder, is it possible that the biggest things working against our relationships are fear and the reactionary desire to control? I know that’s sometimes been the case in our relationship.
Don’t be afraid to get curious about those fears, and learn from them. I’m hoping to! Buen Camino!
Until we start our journey walking. I have a bit of a nasty cold, so I hope that has past by then.
I have now been in Europe for just over 2 weeks, and yesterday I caught myself looking forward to going home. 😅 It will be awhile before I get to go home, nearly 6 more weeks if all goes as planned. I have been thinking about how my time in Spain will be similar to these last couple of weeks. The towns will be old and have the European charm, I expect. I will be walking a lot, at least 2 times more each day than I have been. There will be many different people doing this journey too. Each will have a unique story with different reasons for being there.
I am looking forward to spending time with my friend and going on this journey with her. I know we will experience highs and lows, and I expect we may even grow weary of each other from time to time. We have discussed this, and are somewhat prepared for it. I am thankful to have a friend willing to give this crazy thing a shot! What a gift!
Saturday morning I will meet Theresa in Paris. We will spend the day and night in Paris. Sunday morning we will fly to Biarritz, France, where a shuttle will pick as up. Maybe we will even have someone waiting for us as we exit the plane with our names on a whiteboard 😁! The transport service will drive us from there to St Jean Pied de Port. We will pick up our official papers at the pilgrim office and check into our first hostel. At that point we will grab dinner and try to get a good night’s sleep for our first day!
Thank you for following our Camino Adventure! I’m here to share all the highs and lows, along with lots of pictures! Here’s my first picture which shows the contents of my backpack! I actually pulled a few items from it since this picture to attempt to lighten it up a bit. It’s roughly 20lbs. Here we go!
Do you know who you are? I mean really? Where do you start and stop? This is a consistent area of growth for me. Who am I without you?
If you are not with me, do I know what I want? I know you. I know what you want. But what do I want? It is dinner time. I know you would like to eat at the pub. So, I want to eat at the pub. But do I though?
How do I want to spend my evening? Hmm. Do I know? Nope. I have become very flexible and willing to do whatever you would like to do.
My therapist asks, “What would you like to get out of today’s time together?” Hmm. Do I know? How about you tell me what you think I need to get out of today’s time together. Would that be ok?
It takes work for me to learn what I want and need. I am getting better about realizing what I need. I still struggle with knowing what I want.
The big things are clear. I want my family to love me. I want them to love each other. I want to belong. I think I sometimes just want whatever you want, so you will love me and I can belong with you. What’s wrong with that?
What is wrong with that is that sometimes I do not feel heard. I work up the courage to say what I want. But you say you don’t want to do that. Then what? Can anyone relate? That FEELS like rejection.
It has been an interesting season of growth in this space. Sometimes learning what I want and sharing it with you is a lonely journey. So, learning what I want means also learning to be ok with my own company. Sometimes it is only my own company. Because I am me and others don’t necessarily want to do the same things I want to do.
I will still do what you want sometimes, because I like you. I also want to understand you and learn why you want what you want. Maybe you can do that for someone else too. But not all the time.
I’m starting to feel nervous. I already miss my kids extra much. I worry that I’ll feel disconnected from my husband and my kids.
Then I worry that I’ll give up or at least I will want to. I cannot believe that I will get through this pilgrimage without major catastrophic failure.
I tell myself that it will be ok and that I am prepared. I have everything I need, and I’ve been preparing for this for months—my body should be ready.
I’m stressed! Breathe deeply. I need to let concerns go. Worrying has never helped me. I’m going to do this, and I will get through it. I can do this and I am going to write down all the feelings along the way.
I have an anxious mind. It isn’t pretty sometimes. Yes, I’m very excited about this journey, but I’m at times (like 3 nights ago when I wrote the above paragraphs) I am overwhelmed with feelings and catastrophic thoughts.
This journey is bound to be raw, and I keep worrying about sharing that with others. I think, “Who wants to be plagued with my crazy thoughts?” Or “Is it safe to share this vulnerable part of myself with others?”
But…I think I am going to trust you with this part of me, as naive as that may be. Hopefully, anyone who is bothered by my “crazy” just won’t read it!
El Camino is giving me big nerves and feelings right now as I start in less than two weeks. There may be some hard perspectives brought to light, with my fear of the unknown welling up. Don’t let it alarm you.
I want to document it all. Maybe my kids will someday read it and be encouraged that they can and will get through big things in spite of big worry feelings.
Until my big journey begins on September 19th, I’m enjoying a trip with my husband and his parents in Europe! Below are a few of our highlights so far! Stay curious!
I have had lots of time to think as I have been training for my big trek across Spain, the El Camino Road. Yesterday I walked for four plus hours listening to my audible book for half of that time. The book was heavy – a collection of stories about mountain rescues. The author describes her angst, ever so vulnerably, as she describes the sacrifices that she makes on a regular basis to save lives or carry a body out of an avalanche basin or floor of a waterfall. Her story is powerful, yet I wonder if it’s worth the cost. She also wonders.
Before I walk I get a request from someone. They ask if I can send them some money, because they have none. They would like to get out of their hard space. I have helped this person many times before. They don’t like hard places, and I don’t like seeing them in a hard space. I have the ability to rescue them from their frustration and it’s hard to say no. Why should I have when they do not. I have the means to help and I have before. I have helped and given in a way that made this person have so many more opportunities – several times actually. If I help , won’t it give me an opportunity to speak into her life? To share with her what I think she needs to know about how to live her life?
Well, here’s what I’ve learned. I do have some of what she needs, but I cannot give her a shortcut. She has to experience all the hard steps of her life before she can have the clarity to know what she really needs to move forward. My getting her out of a frustrating day will not help her grow. I am not suggesting we don’t help those in need. I wish I could encourage everyone to open your eyes to the people right in front of you who you can bless. But I am finally learning that money does not buy happiness- not for myself or those I share it with. It can do some good things. But it can also be an unhelpful shortcut.
I had 4 hours to walk yesterday. I could have taken a shortcut, but I would have cheated myself from the last hour, when I listened to music and sang “I will always love you” at the top of my lungs. I was thinking of my friend who asked for help. I was wondering if she felt loved or rejected. The truth is, whether she knows it or not, I will always love her. No matter how many times she gets herself into bad situations. But I long for her to tune in to her “hard” long enough to gain clarity, understand what she needs, pursue it, and ultimately grow.
I will be walking for five hours each day of my long trek in the fall. Yesterday I walked four and my legs ached at the end. There will be alot of time in those days, and that will be one of the hardest part I think. It is difficult to be quiet and alone with our thoughts. It is lonely. I have wanted to be rescued from that space before, many times in the last 9 months, with a recent empty nest. It sure feels better to find needs and to answer everyone’s requests for help. I feel more valuable and wanted and purposeful. But I wonder if I need to be more slow to rescue, if there might be more opportunity for growth- if I am helpful in other, less monetary ways. I hate to sound like I think I know what’s best for someone who reaches out. I do not. But I do feel more comfortable digging deeper and looking for other ways to be present and helpful? Maybe?
Maybe I need to just continue practicing searching out the right response. Maybe my next response is a resounding “YES!!” that launches me into a space of hard work and sacrifice to help another who’s in a hard spot. For sure that is possible! But I know that just having some time and space helps give clarity and wisdom on what I need, what they need, how much is required for this situation, and how helpful it will be. I need time and space, even though it does not always feel as rewarding as helping.
We each have a bucket of GROW, I think. And GROW takes lots and lots and lots of time to absorb. I don’t want to have someone tell me that I can skip it by taking a vitamin or doing a workout or reading a book or taking whatever shortcut. That is not true. I want to learn all I can from every moment I am given. And I want those around me to too. So I should be careful to be mindful of robbing others of their opportunity to soak up their GROW, even though it will be hard. I will be careful of shortcuts, because shortcuts sometimes can steal the best parts of GROW.
This is hard, because it creates many conflicts in my own heart. Again, this blog is as much of a space for my own processing as anything. I may be the only one who understands it, but I am ok with that. Stay curious about your own musings. If you do not have space in your days to think, look for the ways to make some. Maybe there is a shortcut present that is robbing you of some GROW time?
Curious with you,
Joy
This pic was the last portion of a long hike my sister and I took last week, after learning we were not able to take the “shortcut” boat back. Six extra miles but the most beautiful bit!
Trying to remain respectfully curious in a time of social media warfare
I might have found my superpower. Do you know what yours is?
Yesterday was so powerful for me. Perhaps it was for you too?
Lots of people have been celebrating while others mourn. Social media is the battleground. I spent 30 minutes on social media yesterday, and I spent 3 hours on Capitol Hill yesterday. My time on Capitol Hill was life-breathing for me. My time on social media was soul sucking. I would love to share a bit of my experience and process here with you.
A big thing happened in our country this week. Roe v. Wade was overturned. This is a huge victory for many of my loved ones and a huge loss for many who also are dear to me. Are you wondering where I stand? I am happy to share that I am pro-life and pro-choice. Are you frustrated with that response? Politics is NOT my superpower. “I am a lover, not a fighter,” is something I say often. If I am fighting, you can know I am in a place of stress, not health. Fighting wrecks me. Discussing with curiosity is about as close to debating as I get. My adult self shuts down, and my child self shows up.
No, my superpower is connecting. Yesterday I had the opportunity to participate in my first PRIDE festival. Our church, Mission Gathering Bellevue, had a booth there, reminding the LGBTQ+ people that they are loved. I have seen photos of moms giving out hugs at PRIDE festivals before, and I always thought I might like to be that person.
So, yesterday I had that opportunity. I stood in the sun and offered sweaty hugs to any who wanted or needed it. Turns out, a LOT of people wanted and needed hugs yesterday. I don’t know how many, but whenever I had the sign out, for probably 2 hours, there was a steady stream of people to whom I embraced with all that was in me. I told each one, “You are loved and celebrated.” They hugged me fiercely back.
Many stepped back and wiped away tears. Others said, “I think I might cry.” I was emotional the entire time. They needed it. I needed it. Maybe we all could use tight, accepting hugs right now. I locked eyes with others who looked like they may want a hug, but did not have the courage to leave their group–there was pain on their faces. I am not making this up to conjure emotion. Tears fill my eyes remembering them. I wish I could have given them a hug! I hope my eyes communicated love to their souls.
I know that quick, deep connection is a superpower of mine. I honestly felt what I imagine to be the “healing power of Jesus” yesterday exuding from me. I cannot prove that it WAS the healing power of Jesus, and I am not here to claim that it was. However, people were moved; I was moved. It was a tangible feeling. I know that we each needed those hugs; and it was SUCH a privilege that I was able to be the instrument.
What is your superpower? It is a tumultuous time, and it has been for some time. I fear what may come in our country, mostly because I love people who have differing views with myself and one another. Also, I know we need love–good ol’ hug love, sit around the table with a meal love. It is so evident to me. I perceive the vacuum in my heart as I read through social media posts. In my hesitantly shared opinion, I do not believe we need more platitudes. However, I am trying to remain curious in these spaces that are not my superpower or comfort zone.
Maybe your superpower is politics or debating. Do we need people with that superpower? Absolutely we do!! However, if your superpower is something else, is it possible you could be causing harm by posting on social media? I am not making any assumptions about you here. I just know, when I scroll and I feel emotions like sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment– that is a signal to stop and sit in curiosity about whether this post or comment will be helpful or just make me feel better. I am not always successful, but often if I just wait a day, the “need” to share will pass and my social media friendships remain intact.
Human beings are so amazing! We each have strengths that have come from SO many unique experiences. To assume I know what your superpower is would be silly. Only you can be curious about that. So, take time in this season of tumult to consider what your place is in this crazy world. Do you receive life from arguing on Facebook? Some people do! If you are one of those people, are you being kind in your communication to your fellow person? There is not much that takes the breath out of my lungs faster than seeing people I value being disrespectful to others on Facebook. I believe there is a way to “argue” and drive change with respect.
I will be driving change with hugs, because that’s what aligns with my superpowers. You be you though, but be curious! Make sure you are being you! And remember, “with great power comes great responsibility”– wise words of Uncle Ben from Spiderman.
