All posts by Soapizia

Thoughts

Did Covid Steal Your Relationships??

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Remember 2019? Who were you hanging with?

happy diverse friends laughing with smartphone at home
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Do you still talk to them? Have you spent time with them in the last year? Have you felt comfortable spending time with anyone this last year?

My relationships have changed drastically in the last few years. Maybe it’s just me, but it kinda feels like I am starting from scratch in many ways, My circle seems to have shrunk considerably. Why is this?

Did I grow distant, or did they? Were they believers in masks or not? Am I an anti-vaxxer, or am I boosted up? Do they believe that Black Lives Matter, or do they believe “all lives matter”? Did I protest on the street or on Facebook? Did they? Are they pro-life or pro-choice? Am I? Do they say “gay” or not? What did I say? Do they see what I post? Did I see what they posted?

I am respectful of all the views represented above, and I realize I am not representing all the conflicts of the last few years.

While in “quarantine”, did we feel or hear or see one another? Feel each others’ warmth in an embrace? Hear each others’ tone in our whispers or shouts on Facebook? See the look of understanding in another’s eyes when we chose to be vulnerable? Did we hear them say, “I get it” or “I cannot imagine, but I’m here for you”? We lost much of that.

And maybe that loss makes us scared.

Are we scared that those old friends are no longer who we thought they were or scared that they are not “our people” any longer. Maybe we’re scared that they have become liberals, or scared that they have become conservatives? Perhaps we’re scared that they don’t even believe in God anymore? Are we scared that we cannot be comfortable with them any more?

Can we bring ourselves to engage again? All those that unsettle us, because of what they shared on social media…..Will we ever be together in a room again? I hope so. Can we talk like we used to talk? Maybe not.

But might we be respectfully curious? Are we able to kindly ask questions? Will we try to understand why? Can we let people be human? Is it possible to let them have their reasons? Will vulnerability find its place again?

I do not know, but I will continue to be…

Respectfully curious with you,

Joy

Thoughts

Respectfully curious about PRIDE

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It’s PRIDE month. Can we be respectfully curious about that?

I learned from my parents at a young age that pride was wrong. As I grew up, I learned from scholarly men that it was “a deadly sin”.

I became very afraid of being “prideful.” Was I sinning when I accomplished a task well? Was it wrong when I felt happy after someone gave me a compliment?

As a mom, is it OK to be proud of my kids? Was my mom proud of me? I think so, but I wonder if she struggled with the same things.

The word “pride” has been a complicated issue for me for sure. I said just today to my husband that I think we have pride that  gets in the way of a smoother marriage at times.

My oldest daughter is lesbian. She came out to us 4 years ago. I am so proud of her. She is an amazing young woman, who is a person of intense integrity.

I heard a man on a podcast the other day say something to the effect that having kids with integrity creates deep joy for him as a parent. When I heard this I related wholeheartedly.

I felt proud that all of my kids are people of integrity.

My daughter has been so patient with us as we grow more comfortable being proud of her. We have a lot of confusion around that word “pride”, after all.

I’m glad she is free to celebrate pride month. I’m glad we can be proud to be American. I’m glad I can be proud of my roots. I hope my roots are proud of me.

Is pride is one of those things that isn’t bad by itself? But when paired with judging others, whether it’s me judging, my family member, my coworker, my neighbor….Perhaps that’s when it gets ugly? I’m curious.

I used to tell my kids, “Don’t compare yourselves to others. You’ll either be sad that you don’t feel as good at something as others, or you’ll be proud and judge others.” Maybe this is the negative version of pride in both examples?

Are we human beings, worthy of respect? Are we capable of amazing things? When we embrace who we are designed to be?

Happy Pride, Y’all! “Be yourself! Everyone else is already taken.” –Oscar Wilde

Respectfully curious,

Joy

Thoughts

So many opinions, so little time: 5 reasons I decided to start a blog

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Are you wondering why someone as ordinary as myself would feel the need to contribute more information to this crazy world? Probably not, but if you were, that would be a reasonable thing to be curious about. I have been asking myself this for some time now, and I managed to think of 5 reasons to finally get started.

Reason 1: I need to journal.

Writing is therapeutic for me, and this will help me be disciplined with a regular cadence of writing. Processing through pen on paper gives me clarity, and sharing it gives me purpose. I have no expectations for what you gain from my blog, but I am certain that I will gain alot. So, while I am very curious about the responses you may have, the first reason I am doing this is for my own growth.

Reason 2: Perhaps I feel “called” to it?

This area is a space I am respectfully curious about. I had a Christian upbringing, and I have questions about how it impacted me. I believe it had some very positive effects on who I am today, but I do wonder if much of my life I have been pursuing too intensely THE purpose that will be the MOST impactful use of my “gifts.” I have experienced much anxiety and depression throughout my life, and I question whether my religious rearing may have exacerbated those challenges? Who knows what impacted what, but I am thankful to be growing in understanding of myself and my place in this world. It seems likely that my space of influence is rather small, but in case others can be helped by my words, I share them.

Reason 3: I have experienced some hard things.

Like most people, I have been through some difficult experiences that have shaped me. Some of these areas are now really important to me, and they are things that other may have questions about. I have a gay child, whom I celebrate! If there is anything I can do to help other LGBTQ kids or their parents, I want to be accessible. This will not be the key topic of conversations here, but it will come up from time to time. If my curiosities can be helpful to anyone else in this journey of LGBTQ understanding, it is worth all the effort.

Reason 4: Social media is not a safe place for questions.

Questions have been so valuable to me. They have given me a wonder that brings me peace and surrender. Is it possible to have life all figured out? I do not believe so. The freedom to as questions opens me up to understanding the deepness, complexity, and beauty of each and every human being. I want to explore questions and thoughts here, with patience and understanding. Social media does not give space for understanding and respectful questions. It is important to me that my contributions help provide time and space for safe conversations that promote understanding.

5. I am going on a very cool trip!

My best friend and I are going on a trip of a lifetime this fall. The Road to Santiago is a pilgrimage that many have traveled over the years. It has been a dream of mine for awhile, and it will finally be a reality mid September! I expect this trip is one that will provide much content to share. I felt compelled to start writing early, so I could practice blogging in preparation for the journey. This will not be a travel blog, but our trip is sure to provide many opportunities for respectful curiosity.

Training hike to Poopoo Point in Issaquah, WA

Thank you for tolerating this, my very first blog post. I appreciate your interest, and am so excited for many conversations around all the things that we together can be respectfully curious about!

Respectfully curious with you,

Joy