Tag Archives: election thoughts

Dear Church

Dear Church, What happens if you’re wrong?

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Places like this remind me how much more there is than me and my knowledge about things.

I remember somewhere around 2012 when Rob Bell, the Christian author and pastor “came out” in affirmation of the LGBTQ+ community. I remember hearing about it, and mulling over it in my mind. I tend to argue and process in my mind, from as many angles as I can imagine, before I settle on where I “land.” I usually take the more cautious position, believe it or not, unless there is a compelling reason to do otherwise. I remember having a discussion with my husband. He had read Rob’s book, Love Wins https://a.co/d/hCIFnUr and found it compelling. I had not read the book. Perhaps I was afraid it would confuse my position on what love was. Also, I didn’t read as much in those days. I do remember rationalizing to Chris, “I would like to take the affirming position, as it feels more loving; but I would be worried that I might be wrong.” I do remember considering then what might happen if I was wrong. It boiled down to not making it to heaven and possibly leading others that way as well.

I worry about being wrong ALOT!!! I think about it at my job. I think about it in my marriage. I think about it as a Mom. I think about it as a “Jojo (grandmom).” I think about it as a friend. I think about it as a writer. I think about it as a creator. I think about it VERY often. I am not a miserable person :), but I am careful about what I choose to believe. I really do want to the right thing, because I still feel a deep responsibility to all around me (friends, family, coworkers, God, etc. ) not to cause harm. I do not want to be responsible for being a wrong example for others. In fact, believe it or not, it takes a great deal of courage for me to put these curiosities and opinions in front of you, because of this very real “weight of glory” as C.S. Lewis named it.

What I did not consider in 2012, when I was determining if I could join Rob Bell’s ideology, was what if my 2012 position was wrong? What if it wasn’t all about heaven or my responsibility to convince everyone in my sphere to go there? Or what if God made some people gay, because He is creative and likes variety? And what if it’s possible that gender dysphoria is real, and appropriate healthcare measures are a reasonable means to help a person become their true selves? What if it didn’t even matter what I believed about it? What if my beliefs on the matter had nothing to do with whether or not my kids “became gay.” or whether or not they would experience this gender dysphoria? What if the Bible actually meant something different than I had previously understood? What if the Bible exists by a very long process with many iterations, and what if those verses dealing with the topics of LGBTQ matters were interpreted by people who had opinions about it that were based on their own views versus a revelation from God? What if the Bible is more of a history book, where we can learn about God and people’s perception of him, and not a weapon to use toward everyone who doesn’t interpret it like we do? But I am getting ahead of myself.

I feel my search for rightness, after I fully faced the LGBTQ issue, brought me to the realization that I had been wrong. It helped me grow open to other ideas that challenge my beliefs. I remember when it occurred to me that maybe my community loved the Bible more than they loved Jesus or people. I wonder if “We teach the Bible” has become a more important statement than “We love others” or “We follow Christ.” Many “Bible believing” churches seem to have a clear view of what each verse means. They believe there are clear rights and wrongs, and if you don’t agree, you are judged.

Dear Church,

What if you are wrong?

I don’t know how to be in a place of certainty anymore, but I know that I aim to be in a place of integrity, humility, and justice more than ever. Whether I am right or wrong, I feel compelled to support my fellow humans, whether they look and act like me or not, especially in these times where diversity, equity, and inclusion are being scorned. Maybe it is time to take a closer look at our beliefs. Maybe it’s time to risk the possibility that we may have been wrong. It might cost you your community, but integrity, humility, and justice are worth it.

Consider those verses that aren’t being amplified right now, such as this one: Micah 6:8 “He has shown you, O man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you. But to seek justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

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Things that are confusing right now

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I don’t get it.

How did so many people, many claiming to be Christians, give a person like Trump such a big win?

I have been listening to commentators that should have prepared me for this, but I was not prepared. I thought I was prepared for a slight win, but I sure was not prepared for such a significant one. 

I feel a deep heaviness in my chest. It is hard seeing people I love celebrating someone who is factually a rapist, a thief, a liar, a cheat, a racist, who uses disgusting language in reference to women and communities of color. I do not understand how people who say they take the Bible so literally can excuse this. I have never felt so heavy for our nation. I have never felt so overwhelmed by “the sin of the land.” 

I feel confused and wonder if I am having big feelings that may be the same kind of feelings that these people had 4 years ago. I have a family member who was scared when Biden won in 2020, and he told me things like “families will be divided similar to what happened during the Revolutionary War.” I saw the fear that drove people to post mean things about people they knew nothing about. I told myself they were just afraid. I tried to give them understanding. 

But now I am afraid. I am afraid of those scared people. Those scared people who have been duped by a masterful manipulator. I remember, as a kid, being so afraid of being under the power of “the antichrist.” He was going to mesmerize us all into an army of robots to do his evil bidding and bring down truth and goodness. I don’t believe the Bible as literally as I used to, but if I did, I know I would still be confused and wary of the resemblance. 

I am trying to tell myself that fear is never a good reason to act. So I will practice meditation, prayer, breathing, processing, etc. to keep myself calm. However, I am scared…maybe like that family member was 4 years ago. But my fear feels founded on a reality that our nation seems to be conned by a master manipulator. A nation is “calling evil ‘good,’”with this leader. I was warned about such people, and now those people who warned me are celebrating exactly such a person. 

I am confused, because I had hoped we had a majority who would not empower someone like him. What does this say to our kids? How will it affect a population of LGBTQ+ folks who just want to live their lives and be left alone. Could this be  about abortion? Really? Because the research shows that we have made much progress and abortion has decreased significantly over the last decades. Changes have been made to help make that decision less necessary. Is it possible that issue that has improved so significantly could be the reason to bring such a leader into power? It doesn’t make sense to me that Christians are celebrating this person. Oh, also, he is pro choice.

Perhaps it’s because of his stand against immigration. But that is not a Christian stance either. I believe many Christians are under a spell- the spell of a very, very bad man. I get that they may think he can lead our country toward a better life for them. But is their “better life” worth all the harm that may be done? I don’t understand. These are not reasons, according my very Christian upbringing, to vote for such a person. I do not get it.

I don’t know what to hope for. I know I want my friends and family who are scared like me to know that I am a safe person, who will be here to protect their freedoms. I am here to stick with those who are interested in showing love to all our neighbors, eat with strangers, be generous with those who don’t live or look like me, and stay strong to protect the vulnerable. May we see clearly and not be blinded by fear, but may we be supportive of all who may need it these next 4 years.