Trying to remain respectfully curious in a time of social media warfare

I might have found my superpower. Do you know what yours is?

Yesterday was so powerful for me. Perhaps it was for you too?

Lots of people have been celebrating while others mourn. Social media is the battleground. I spent 30 minutes on social media yesterday, and I spent 3 hours on Capitol Hill yesterday. My time on Capitol Hill was life-breathing for me. My time on social media was soul sucking. I would love to share a bit of my experience and process here with you.

A big thing happened in our country this week. Roe v. Wade was overturned. This is a huge victory for many of my loved ones and a huge loss for many who also are dear to me. Are you wondering where I stand? I am happy to share that I am pro-life and pro-choice. Are you frustrated with that response? Politics is NOT my superpower. “I am a lover, not a fighter,” is something I say often. If I am fighting, you can know I am in a place of stress, not health. Fighting wrecks me. Discussing with curiosity is about as close to debating as I get. My adult self shuts down, and my child self shows up.

No, my superpower is connecting. Yesterday I had the opportunity to participate in my first PRIDE festival. Our church, Mission Gathering Bellevue, had a booth there, reminding the LGBTQ+ people that they are loved. I have seen photos of moms giving out hugs at PRIDE festivals before, and I always thought I might like to be that person.

So, yesterday I had that opportunity. I stood in the sun and offered sweaty hugs to any who wanted or needed it. Turns out, a LOT of people wanted and needed hugs yesterday. I don’t know how many, but whenever I had the sign out, for probably 2 hours, there was a steady stream of people to whom I embraced with all that was in me. I told each one, “You are loved and celebrated.” They hugged me fiercely back.

Many stepped back and wiped away tears. Others said, “I think I might cry.” I was emotional the entire time. They needed it. I needed it. Maybe we all could use tight, accepting hugs right now. I locked eyes with others who looked like they may want a hug, but did not have the courage to leave their group–there was pain on their faces. I am not making this up to conjure emotion. Tears fill my eyes remembering them. I wish I could have given them a hug! I hope my eyes communicated love to their souls.

I know that quick, deep connection is a superpower of mine. I honestly felt what I imagine to be the “healing power of Jesus” yesterday exuding from me. I cannot prove that it WAS the healing power of Jesus, and I am not here to claim that it was. However, people were moved; I was moved. It was a tangible feeling. I know that we each needed those hugs; and it was SUCH a privilege that I was able to be the instrument.

What is your superpower? It is a tumultuous time, and it has been for some time. I fear what may come in our country, mostly because I love people who have differing views with myself and one another. Also, I know we need love–good ol’ hug love, sit around the table with a meal love. It is so evident to me. I perceive the vacuum in my heart as I read through social media posts. In my hesitantly shared opinion, I do not believe we need more platitudes. However, I am trying to remain curious in these spaces that are not my superpower or comfort zone.

Maybe your superpower is politics or debating. Do we need people with that superpower? Absolutely we do!! However, if your superpower is something else, is it possible you could be causing harm by posting on social media? I am not making any assumptions about you here. I just know, when I scroll and I feel emotions like sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment– that is a signal to stop and sit in curiosity about whether this post or comment will be helpful or just make me feel better. I am not always successful, but often if I just wait a day, the “need” to share will pass and my social media friendships remain intact.

Human beings are so amazing! We each have strengths that have come from SO many unique experiences. To assume I know what your superpower is would be silly. Only you can be curious about that. So, take time in this season of tumult to consider what your place is in this crazy world. Do you receive life from arguing on Facebook? Some people do! If you are one of those people, are you being kind in your communication to your fellow person? There is not much that takes the breath out of my lungs faster than seeing people I value being disrespectful to others on Facebook. I believe there is a way to “argue” and drive change with respect.

I will be driving change with hugs, because that’s what aligns with my superpowers. You be you though, but be curious! Make sure you are being you! And remember, “with great power comes great responsibility”– wise words of Uncle Ben from Spiderman.

Remaining Respectful and Curious with you,

Joy

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